What Happens When You Get a Girl Pregnant?

When you’re a teenager, chances are good you’re not ready to be a dad. But when you’re having sex with your girlfriend or a casual sexual relationship, there is a chance that the girl could get pregnant. So what happens when a girl you’ve had sex with comes to you and says that she’s pregnant?

The first thing that’s likely to happen is a flood of emotion that comes on as soon as the shock starts to wear off. You’re likely to wonder - especially if you know that you used birth control and only had sex with the girl a couple of times - whether or not you are the father. As a prospective parent, especially if there are questions about the paternity of the baby, it is your right to know whether or not the baby is yours.

There are two ways to determine paternity of a baby. First, there’s a blood typing test where the baby’s blood type is compared to that of you and the mother and will indicate whether or not the baby could be yours. There’s also more definitive DNA testing that will indicate based on chromosomes and genetic makeup, whether or not the baby is yours with a high level of accuracy. Keep in mind though that, while it is absolutely your right to know, the mother is likely to be upset that you’re asking. She’s already emotional, overwhelmed, frightened and anxious - and more than anything else she is going to need your support.

Of course, if you know that you are the only one who could be the baby’s father, you are going to have other questions as well. Keep in mind that there are three different choices that the mother - and you - can consider: abortion, adoption and parenting.

It’s important to get answers to a number of key questions in each case.

If the girl is considering an abortion, you’ll want to know:

  • whether or not you will need to help pay for the procedure
  • whether you have rights if you don’t support her decision to have an abortion

If she is thinking about adoption, you’ll want to find out:

  • whether it’s necessary for you to consent to the adoption process (whether you’ll have to give up your parental rights)
  • whether you can help choose the couple
  • whether, in an open adoption, you too will be able to see the child as he or she grows up

If she wants to keep the baby, you should know:

  • whether you’re responsible for child support
  • what your rights are as the father

The more you are able to learn about the laws in your area, the role that she wants you to have and what your feelings are, the more you will be able to support her during the process.